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November 19th, 2003

Mick and Heather Get a Visit from Uncle Larry
This past week Mick and Heather had a special visitor, all the way from Fort St. John, BC.

Mick's uncle, Larry, was in town at a conference, and after attending a hockey game with one of his principals, the two dropped by to say, "hello."

"It's always good to have family over. We were a little worried about Larry coming over- I mean, we've got a lot of stairs - but he managed okay right up until we got to the top floor. That's when he accidentally got his little foot stuck in the heat register. Poor little fella, and he was only over for fifteen minutes!" Mick explained.

"I like having Larry over. Next time he'll have to stay a little longer. He dropped off a Christmas gift in some beautiful wrapping paper, which almost makes up for him breaking our heat register. We told him to stay here next time he's in town," Heather added.

Mick and Heather both appreciated little Uncle Larry's visit, and look forward to having him at the house again. Hopefully he'll even bring along Auntie Debbie, who can guide him through the house and look after him.

Photo: Mick and Heather couldn't find a picture of Uncle Larry.

November 15th, 2003

Mick and Heather Buy A New Car
Due to many wonderful things happening to their Volvo (For Sale- high kilometers, low rust, new tires, a pleaser for the ladies, only asking $1,000), Mick and Heather decided to buy a 2004 Corolla.

They decided to purchase from Mayfield Toyota, because it's the furthest dealership from their home.

"I was looking for something dependable that gets over 50 miles per gallon. It had to be grey, too," Mick explained. "I was getting tired of calling either Heather or AMA to come pick me up. The guy I carpool with was hoping I'd getting something nice so we could pick up chicks on our way home from work."

Heather didn't have much to say about the whole situation. "Mick was driving a piece of crap. I'm not scared when he leaves for work anymore."

If you'd like to buy a Corolla just like Mick and Heather's, call Danny Chau at Mayfield Toyota.

Photo: Mick and Heather hang around with a new gang now that they've got their Toyota.

November 12th, 2003

Mick and Heather Have Fun With Math
While sipping soup this evening, Mick and Heather stumbled upon a mathematical formula which has held true for the last 27 years: Heather's Weight equals one half of Mick's Weight.

At birth, in February of 1976, Mick weight well over nine pounds. A month later, when Heather was born, it has been shown that Mick did indeed have twice the mass of Heather.

Mick and Heather carried out a study of their childhood weights, as well as they could remember, and compared the results. They then stood on scales at the local London Drugs, and found that the formula is still accurate today.

"My shoes are twice as heavy as Heather's. It's hard to believe that no matter what happens, this still holds true. If we eat spaghetti, I eat twice as much. If I belch, she belches half as much. We maintain a solid relationship between our weights."

Heather wasn't as excited about the formula as Mick. "Mick says that he wants to get up to 300 pounds. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to carry around that much weight?"

For those of you who are interested in finding how you fit in with Mick and Heather's weights, you're going to have to call them, because they'd rather not tell the world what fatties they are.

Photo: Old school math should always been done with a good abacus.

November 9th, 2003

Mick Almost Gets in a Fist Fight at the Car Wash
This morning at Canadian Tire, Mick and Heather found themselves in an uncomfortable situation. The lady in front of them in line for the automatic carwash was having some problems, so Mick got out and gave her a hand.

In the mean time, some jerk who was three cars behind them cut into line ahead of them.

When the stupid lady (you should have seen this lady- she smacked her car door on a post three times entering her wash code, then drove off the side of the guides in the carwash and hung up her car, then smashed her car into the cleaning arms before freeing herself) finally got her ticket, and the line moved ahead, Heather told Mick to go talk to the guy.

"The first thing the guy says to me as I walk up to his car is 'You coming up here to give me shit?' I told him that I just wanted to remind him that there's a right way and a wrong way to do things."

Mick spoke in a calm tone to the jerk, while he was yelling and hollering and waving his arms. He repeatedly threatened to get out of the car to teach Mick a lesson, but the lesson never happened.

"Why do people do things like this? I guess he's not from Saskatchewan," Heather complained.

Photo: The stupid lady in front of Mick and Heather didn't really get how the carwash worked.

November 6th, 2003

Mick and Heather See Sarah Slean Live
Sometimes it's better not to go out on a school night.

This past Thursday there was a show at the Myer Horowitz Theatre at the U of A featuring Sarah Slean, a favourite of both Mick and Heather.

The show was slated to begin at 8:00, but actually started around 9:30. There was an hour long intermission between the opening act (Ann Vriend) and Sarah stepping on stage, so by the time the party started going it was after 11:00.

"I was so tired. I kept looking over to see Mick sleeping. And Sarah was really good, but it was way past our bedtime," Heather explained.

"This broad is sort of weird. She came out dressed like a flapper girl or something, stood at the piano when she played her first song, then spoke in strange voices between songs during the remainder of her show. She even made sound effects on the piano for her strange stories. She talked like the little girl in The Exorcist sometimes," lamented Mick.

Both Mick and Heather learned a valuable lesson from the evening, and have since made a pact not to go out on a school night.

Photo: The young and talented Sarah Slean likes playing into the wee hours.

October 27th, 2003

Mick and Heather Get a Driveway
After six months of waiting, Mick and Heather finally had their driveway poured. The following day, it snowed.

The rebar, gravel and heat-tracing was installed in the blink of an eye (likely in hopes of not having the city come shut the project down due to a lack of permits).

Mick tied the heat tracing cable to his own rebar, and explained that, "the guy who was going to do it was supposed to be here on Sunday night, but didn't show, then had to go to court Monday morning, so I put the tyraps on myself."

"I'm just happy that next year, after the city does the concrete from our sidewalk to the street, we'll be able to use our garage. Hopefully they'll fix our garage door by then, too!" exclaimed Heather.

If you are interested in a tour of Mick and Heather's new driveway, feel free to give them a call.

Photo: The driver of the truck put the pedal to the metal.

October 26th, 2003

Mick and Heather Get Floor Tickets to the Red Hot Chili Peppers
Despite not really being fans of their latest material, Mick and Heather got floor tickets to the RHCP concert at Skyreach this weekend.

"It's not the band I hate. It's their fans," explained Mick. He was commenting on the lack of manners that the majority of the concert-goers had. "They threw Heather about twenty feet, then proceeded to repeatedly bump their sweaty bodies into us. It was disgusting."

Heather had another view, or lack thereof. "I couldn't see the first half of the show, because I'm too short. We moved back, and I could sort of see. We moved again, right near the end, and I could finally see."

Despite their complaints, Mick and Heather had a fantastic time. Really. Fantastic.

They also had some friends up from Prince Albert to attend the show with them. Lisa and Jon came up for a visit, but they got more into the show than Mick and Heather.

"They were crowd surfing and getting passed around at the front. We saw them go by a couple of times. It was pretty wild."

Mick and Heather have no further plans on attending any rock and roll concerts.

Photo: They didn't play much of their old stuff, although you can tell by this picture that they must have old stuff.

October 12th, 2003

Mick and Heather Remember They Have a Website
At breakfast this morning, it dawned upon Mick that they had changed their habits lately. "I can't believe that we didn't go to Cafe Mosaics at all this weekend. This is the first time in ages that we haven't gone there."

"There's something else you're forgetting, too, Mickey. I can't think of what it is, but something is up."

"I need to oil the hardwood. Is that it?"

"No. I don't think so, but you should do that. Maybe you haven't updated the website in a while. That's it!"

"But I can't think of anything to write about. Can you?"

"Why don't you just fill the news with a conversation we had or something?"

"Good idea. I'll do that."

Photo: If you play this game, by clicking on the picture, you have no friends.

October 5, 2003

Mick and Heather Attend Celebrations for the Anniversary of the Republic of China 
Deep inside, everyone is a little Chinese. We don't mean a little Chinese person is inside all of us, but deep inside we can all relate to the little Chinese.

Mick and Heather made an attempt to get Mick back to his roots this evening, by attending a concert at the U of A which was put on by the Chinese Students and Scholars Society to commemorate the anniversary of the forming of the People's Republic of China.

Prior to actually getting into the event, Mick had to join the association. "Do you think they can tell I'm part Chinese, Heather?" The joining process was quite confusing, as Mick has no language skills besides English and Pig-Latin.

"I was really confused. Everyone was shouting at me, and looking at my shoes. They're size twelve, but it's no reason to stare." Mick paid the $10 family membership, which entitles them to free admission to all future events put on by the association.

The show began with some speeches in Mandarin, or Cantonese perhaps, then some singing, again in Mandarin or Cantonese. Then there were a couple of whiteys up there doing some dancing, then some more Chinese stand-up that really got the crowd going. A guy in his fifties got up and sang a rousing number, with three old women dancing around behind him the whole time. "Are they trying to leave the ground when they're jumping? Because if they are, they aren't doing too well," Heather noted. Then the highlight of the event happened- they drew some tickets for the door prizes, and the other white person in the audience won a brand new Proctor Silex iron.

Following the giving of the irons (three were awarded), a large orchestra featuring Mick's friend Pan from work, brought the house down with a number of traditional Chinese hits.

Despite Heather being conscientious that she was the only girl with blonde hair in the audience, they had a really swell time and look forward to going to more Chinese cultural events.

Photo: Mick's friend Pan (with the moustache) and his band really rocked the house.

September 19, 2003

Mick and Heather Head to Red Deer to Celebrate With an Old Fart 
Heather's parents came to town this weekend from Weyburn, and they took Mick and Heather to Red Deer to celebrate Heather's uncle's birthday.

Heather's uncle Terry, who turned 50, was unaware of any party for him. In fact, when a large group of people was cowering around in the dark of his living room, Terry was already questioning the liquor that was in the fridge for the party. "Did Stephen have some friends over? What's with the open wine bottle on the counter, and fridge full of champagne? You better not of done something stupid. I don't want anyone coming over here."

Despite everyone yelling, "Surprise!" Terry's expression did not change. He surveyed the crowd, deadpan, then walked back into the kitchen.

After the surprise party began rocking, the gift opening began. Appropriately enough, Terry received a "Get Lost"-"Welcome" Mat from Heather's family.

"I really like this mat. So why don't you?" asked Terry. His keen sense of humour is why Heather likes being his traveling partner.

"Terry says he's taking me and Mick to Europe next. Right Terry?" Terry agreed that he is indeed taking Mick and Heather on a trip, and paying their way, and that he really, really, liked the mat.

Photo: The message on the mat is short and sweet. Like Terry.

September 6, 2003

Mick and Heather Accidentally End Up at a U of A Welcome Week Party 
The older they get, the older they feel.

This past weekend, Mick and Heather picked up some tickets for a concert at the Shaw Conference Centre, without fully reading the poster for the show.

"I figured that since The Weakerthans were in town, we'd better see them. I didn't realise that we were about to go to a party with a bunch of kids," explained Heather.

Mick was a little more disheartened. "These punks were looking at us, and they were talking about the 'old guy over there' and I looked behind me but didn't see the 'old guy.' They were talking about me!"

Despite not having the appropriate back to school wear on (all the kids had the same studded belt from the eighties on), Mick and Heather did their best to rock on with the group of freshmen who were only one year old when the Challenger exploded.

Photo: The party was crazy. Really. Look at these guys.

September 1, 2003

Mick and Heather Forget to Send an Anniversary Card 
Mick and Heather hit an all new low this past weekend, when they inadvertently forgot to mail an anniversary card for Mick's parents' 30th wedding anniversary.

The card they purchased sat on the island in their kitchen for an entire week, yet neither of them managed to put a stamp on the envelope and drop it into a mailbox.

Heather said, "I thought Mick was going to send it, and he obviously thought I was going to send it. He told his dad on the phone that we hadn't mailed it yet, and I don't think we're going to mail it at all. We're going to hand deliver it in October."

When asked about how they felt about Mick and Heather's flub, Jim and Lori replied, "It's the thought that counts."

"I don't even live in the same province as them. My brothers live in the same house, and they even forgot to get a card. At least I've got an excuse," explained Mick.

Eventually Mick and Heather will resolve this issue, and Mick's parents will manage to sleep through the night again without wondering about their children.

Photo: Mick's parents 30 years ago. This was before they knew that no one would get them an anniversary card.

August 10, 2003

Mick and Heather's Dad Go on a Mission
When Mick and Heather were quite young, they sang at church in the Sunshine Singers, the childrens' choir.

Believe it or not, Mick was a bit of a trouble maker when he was young, and he and his friend Patrick Reilly got into some trouble from the choir leader for scrawling "bras and panties" on the back of one of the church's pianos.

While sitting in the United Church Mick felt the need to tell Heather's dad, Dave, about the piano, and Dave felt an even stronger need to find the piano to see if the writing was still there. Dave grabbed Mick and dragged him out to go find the piano.

"Bras and Panties!" exclaimed Dave after they looked at the back of the fifth piano at the church.

Mick was glad to find the piano, but at the same time remorseful that he doesn't know where Patrick Reilly ended up. "I hope he didn't end up in some juvie-hall or something."

Mick has since promised Heather that he will not write on anymore pianos. He's also promised Heather's dad that he'll tell him the next time he does.

Photo: The attempts to cover up the writing obviously failed.

August 9, 2003

Mick and Heather Emcee a Wedding Reception 
This past weekend, Mick and Heather packed up the Jetta and headed for sunny Weyburn, Saskatchewan, to attend a wedding.

Heather's brother, Andrew, was marrying his long-time sweetheart, Mandy.

Andy and Mandy live in Regina, but are both from Weyburn. The ceremony took place at the Grace United Church, and the reception followed at the Weyburn Inn.

"I was crying as soon as I saw her crying," explained Heather. "I didn't even cry at my own wedding."

Mick figures that Mandy has since "gotten over the initial shock" and is looking forward to spending the rest of her life with Andrew.

Mick and Heather both acted as Emcees for the reception, as the audience sat in "shock and awe." Hilarity ensued.

"I personally thought that the highlight of the evening was when they stripped the groom down. They should've gone further, but I think that they figured that Andrew was going commando to his own wedding. He is a rugged guy," Mick explained.

Photo: The Weyburn Inn did a wonderful job of personalising the event.

August 2, 2003

Mick and Heather's Head to Lake Louise for a Wedding 
Despite smoke from the heavy forest fires in the area, and temperatures in excess of 34 degrees, Mick and Heather attended a wedding on the top of a mountain for their good friends, Charlie and Chantal.

Charlie and Chantal were introduced by Mick about 4 years ago. "He needed someone to tell him what to do, and she needed someone to listen," Mick explained. "They were prefect for one another. Both beautiful people, inside and out."

Family travelled to the event from as far away as Newfoundland, and everyone had a very good time. Mick was asked to Emcee the reception, as he was the only person in the world who knew the two of them before they met.

Heather enjoyed the wedding as well, and had a good time doing the touristy things. "We were almost eaten by a group of marmots at Moraine Lake. That was funny."

Mick and Heather also ran into a number of friends from Weyburn on their trip, like Steve at Wendy's in Canmore, and Clare at the pita place in Lake Louise. They even ran into a pair of Mick's old college chums in Banff (the Smits), when Mick and Heather were looking for a washroom, which only further proves the point that good things happen when you seek out a bathroom.

Photo: Chuck and Chantal and the mountain all had a good time.

August 1st, 2003

Mick and Heather Watch a Scary Movie and Get Freaked Out
While flipping through the channels on the TV in their hotel room last night, Mick and Heather stumbled across a horrible film starring Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey.

Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was the worst movie either of them had ever seen, but their morbid curiousity kept them glued to the set.

"When he steps on that poor girl from the prom's head and steps down until you hear her skull break, I was really scared," explained Heather. The two of them had a tough time getting all of their snacks down because of the films content.

"I was just waiting for something to happen of interest. It was like watching a skydiver fumble with a parachute, only there wasn't much fumbling going on," commented Mick.

Mick and Heather are now looking within themselves to try to understand what went on in the hotel room that made them keep watching. It was as if the movie had left a scar of some sort on them, and that someday a switch just might go off. "We're pretty freaked out about the whole ordeal."

Photo: Mick and Heather sat through the worst movie ever made, besides Sandra Bullock's films.

July 25th, 2003

Mick and Heather Attend a Wedding Party for Friends 
Two of Mick and Heather's friends, Jim and Franciess, had a supper to celebrate their forthcoming marriage the other night.

Jim, the groom, had set everything up with the help of his sister, Monique. Franciess had no idea what was going on, but knew that Jim was lying to her about their plans for that evening.

"I could tell he was lying, going on about some friend being in town and us going to see his band," she explained.

The lucky couple is headed to Scotland to be married with her family on August 12th. Jim hopes he will fit in, but because of his Paul Bunyan stature and her families smaller, Scottish features, he will likely stick out like a sore thumb.

It was a lovely evening with family and friends to send them off on their marriage tour of Europe. Let's hope they find their way back, because they always have the best house parties.

Photo: Jim doesn't like ending up on our website.

July 20th, 2003

Mick and Heather's Condo is in the News 
Whatever can go wrong, will.

In the case of their home, the only problem they've found lately is a neighbour who likes to stir the pot. One particular neighbour has decided to get his lawyers involved in speeding up an inevitable completion of the condos.

He has also called the city, but claimed not to, in order to further degrade the builder's reputation with the city prior to an upcoming meeting to find the fate of their driveways.

Yes, there are still no driveways. Mick and Heather aren't too worried about it getting done, but winter is just around the corner.

"We're not worried about him finishing it. We held back a good chunk of change, and we're sure that once a design is approved by the city he will get his permit and work will begin on them."

The condo owner who took it upon himself to get the media and lawyers involved, does not actually own his unit. They are essentially squatters, as they have not closed their mortgage despite living in the unit for a number of weeks. It is unclear why the developer hasn't changed the locks and evicted them, but we will keep you updated.

Photo: Mick and Heather do not have a tree like this in front of their driveway.

July 14th, 2003

Heather Confirms Her Fear of Machines Taking Over the Earth
Some weeks ago, Mick and Heather saw the second installment of The Matrix series, and decided that they had better rent The Animatrix to get the better idea of why all of this happened in the films.

Heather freaked out. The nine animated shorts that made up The Animatrix were so believable that Heather is positive that the machines are going to take over.

"I'm very frightened. The thing that freaks me out is that it's not German's attacking the French or something like that- it's machine's who don't really have feelings," explained Heather.

"I found it interesting at the parallelism they drew between the plight of the African-American's and the future robots. The robots were essentially slaves until one fought back, and then they had a million robot march and started taking us out," commented Mick.

Despite Heather's fear, the two felt that they needed to see Terminator 3. If you haven't seen the movie, stop reading right now. If you have seen it, you can understand why Heather was upset when the movie was over. If you haven't seen the movie, why are you reading this far? We told you to stop. Now we ruined the movie for you. The dog dies, just like in Turner and Hooch.

Photo: Heather is sure that someday a robot, like the one pictured, will end her life.

July 7th, 2003

Heather Gets a New Job 
After nearly five months of enjoying steady unemployment, Heather has rejoined the crummy working world.

Despite applying for Employment Insurance Benefits, she has yet to receive any benefits. Her weekly reports have been submitted to the agency, but she may have slipped through the cracks.

"I knew I was going to be heading back to work sometime, so it wasn't a real issue. Not for me, anyway. Maybe for Mick. It only makes sense that they'd issue a cheque to me the week I started work, but I've been there two weeks and still not unemployment cheque."

"I am in shock and awe. Heather has gone back to work, but since she's an environmental engineer, she never gets to tell me where she works, or what she does. For all I know, she could be working five blocks away at Sinderella's!" exclaimed Mick.

Heather is definitely enjoying her new job, doing whatever it is she does for whomever she does it for. After over four months of doing crosswords and reading, it is definitely a welcome change.

Photo: Heather may or may not work with this woman.

June 30th, 2003

Mick and Heather Get a "New" Beater for Mick to Drive to Work 
In light of Heather's new employment opportunity, Mick and Heather now require a second car again. It seems like only yesterday they sold the Tempo to the couple from Newfoundland, but after four months of being a single car family they have to expand.

"We had a lot of options. Canada Trader had a lot of cars to choose from online, but by Saturday morning most of the hot deals were gone," explained Mick.

Heather added that, "There was a tasty Jaguar on there from the late 1980s, but after checking out Lemonaid Online we knew that it wasn't worth it." The two found a number of problems people had with the 1988 Jaguar Vanden Plas and didn't want to touch it. "So nice, but so prone to problems."

The two called up the owner of a 1983 Volvo Turbo and went for a viewing. The car ran fine, and for the less-than-a-paycheque that old Lloyd was asking for it, it was hard to pass up.

"I can't wait to paint flames on it. The tinting will really sharpen it up. I just need Heather to go along with the big gold rims, and it will be a happening car."

Photo: This is a picture of Lloyd's car when it was out at his farm last year. Hot dog!

June 28th, 2003

Mick and Heather Entertain Visitors from Out of Town 
Charlie and Chantal came to visit Mick and Heather this past weekend, in a bid to complete some last-minute wedding planning and to make a few purchases prior to their big day.

Charlie, a friend of Heather and Mick's from Weyburn, and his bride-to-be Chantal, a friend of Mick's from the old NAIT days, are getting married in August in Lake Louise. Mick is emceeing the reception, so it was good to talk about the upcoming event.

"It was good to talk to them about their reception," said Mick.

The two couples spent Saturday afternoon at the new Ikea on the south side of Edmonton. The new store is two stories of cheap furniture with a lovely eatery in it. After walking through about half of the store, the group got tired and left.

"We have to go there again when we're not so tired, and when there aren't a thousand people in the store. That would be better," explained Heather.

Photo: The new Ikea is nuts. So are the people who shop there. You can get non-stop cappucinos or espressos in their cafeteria for $1.00. Hang on tight.

June 21st, 2003

Mick and Heather Have Supper Guests 
Despite the apprehension of having people come to their house to fall down the non-existent stairs, Mick and Heather entertained some supper guests this past Saturday night.

The guests were none-other-than the elusive Peri and her husband, Sean. Last fall they had Mick and Heather over for supper at their new house, and finally it was pay back time.

"If you ever want to trade your sewing machine for my air compressor and nailer, let me know," Sean hinted, as Heather was showing off Mick's recent handiwork. "Maybe we'll just hire you to do our blinds."

Heather made a lovely vegetarian lasagna, as well as some tofu cheesecake from her Jean Pare cookbook.

Prior to the meal, and following it as well, the four stood on the front patio to cheer on the marathon runners. Edmonton's marathon runs right by Mick and Heather's home.

Following supper and cocktails, the couples ran out and caught the new Hulk film. Despite feeling guilty for drinking booze while cheering on the marathon runners ("ya! you go!" glug glug "good work!" sip sip), a good time was had by all.

Photo: A lone marathon runner takes offense to Mick and Heather's camera.

June 14th, 2003

Mick and Heather Have Enjoy the Gay Pride Parade 
While Mick was doing some tidying up on a sewing project last weekend, what sounded like a loud car stereo was pounding music into their living room. After a few moments of putting up with the disturbance, Heather and Mick rushed out onto their balcony to see what the noise was all about.

The two soon realised that their home was at the end of the parade route for the Edmonton Gay Pride parade.

They put on their shoes, rushed out the door, and began mingling with the 1,000 plus people who were on their block and the next block down. Their condo is kiddie-corner to the park where the Pride Participants play vollyball and have their barbeque each year.

"Everyone is so happy. Did you see the girls in the see through shirts on leashes, honey? That was awesome!" exclaimed Mick. "The topless girls with 'DYKE' painted on their chests is something to behold as well!"

"I just like the pretty boys," gushed Heather. "Look at them all in their stylish outfits! Their shoes are amazing!"

The two are looking forward to next year's parade already, and hope that more parades end in front of thsi place, so they never need to leave it to see anything.

Photo: Two men partake in the parade. Everyone had a lovely time.

May 21st, 2003

Mick and Heather Eat a Whole Lot of Cheese on Their Honeymoon 
While on their honeymoon, Mick and Heather spent a lot of time eating cheese at a fondue restaurant. Nestled in the mountains with a scenic view, the Grizzly House Restaurant served up a mean meal.

"I really like cheese. I can't believe I've been saying Banff wrong all these years. There's no 'M' in Banff. BAN FF. Banff. I must have sounded pretty stupid. This is good cheese!" Mick commented on the fondue.

"I'm looking forward to having people over for dinner because we've got a pile of fondue equipment we want to use," suggested Heather. Heather and Mick used to fondue quite a bit, but somehow they forgot how much fun it is. "I think we're going to fondue everything now!"

Besides eating cheese on their honeymoon, the two also spent a lot of time watching TV and watching European tourists in pink pumps and other novelty wear walk by.

Photo: This is the chocolate fondue that follows the oil fondue which follows the cheese fondue. The cheese stands alone.

May 17th, 2003

Mick and Heather Get Married
After some twenty years of being good friends, Mick and Heather finally tied the knot.

The wedding took place in Regina, at the Centre of the Arts. It was a lovely ceremony, with a string quartet and plenty of friends and family on hand to share in their joy.

The reception featured a fantastic meal as well as vegetarian selections and chicken fingers for the kids.

While some guests argued that the highlight of the reception was Mick arguing with the manager of the Delta about the lack of wine on the table, Heather felt that the real highlight was after the reception when Mick told his uncle Larry, "Whenever I hear Garth Brook's 'Standing Outside The Fire' I think of you."

Because of the positive response from the guests, and the wonderful cards and gifts they received, Mick and Heather are already planning their second wedding for next summer.

Photo: Due to fire regulations and recent damage at the Centre of the Arts from sprinklers, the wedding party and guests are seen here "imagining the Unity Candle and what it represents."

April 30th, 2003

Mick and Heather "Move In" to Their Condo 
This past Wednesday, Heather and Mick moved out of their tiny apartment and into their new condo just three blocks away.

Despite the lack of a U-Haul truck due to "a reservation only means if we have a truck you'll get it", the move took about seven hours. Andrew, Mick's cousin, was kind enough to lend them his truck. "I couldn't believe that it took nine loads," Andrew commented.

After three nights of staying in a hotel while the builder "finished" their home, Mick and Heather cleaned their unit for two weeks.

As of June 14th, their condo is still incomplete. After six weeks they were lucky enough to have their phone hooked up, but internet access came later, and after having a Telus representative wreck their computer while trying to install it.

Photo: Mick put the cleats down on the ramp to their home after he slid down the ramp on his ass in the rain.

April 5th, 2003

Mick and Heather See Frank Black 
Mick and Heather were spotted at Red's in West Edmonton Mall this past Saturday, seated up on the balcony at the Frank Black show.

The two were accompanied by their friend, Patrick, who was unsure of what to expect from the show. "I really like some of his stuff, but there's a real mixed crowd here. Pixies fans as well as Frank Black fans, but maybe not a lot of The Catholics' fans."

The opening band, Tangiers, was something to behold. A mixture of garage rock and crazy antics similar to Tricky Woo, these guys brought the house down.

Mr. Black, the former frontman for the Pixies, was backed by The Catholics. The show had a lot of newer music, but they also played some of the old candy for the fans.

The second opening act was the former Pixies drummer who now does magic tricks- he shot smoke rings from a bass drum across the room, showed that a pickle will light up like a fluorescent light when energized, and several other tricks that wowed the crowd.

Frank Black music is readily available on the internet, as well as in your local record store.

Photo: Frank in concert. He rocked out for nearly two hours. He sweat a lot, but we can look past it.

April 4th, 2003

Mick and Heather Sell the Tempo
Mick and Heather have decided to become a one vehicle family and have decided to keep the 2001 Jetta rather than the 1987 Ford Tempo.

This decision follows an incident at the end of March in which the car got a flat tire, and when they pulled the donut out to change the tire they were able to see through the trunk to the ground below. The tire was replaced under warranty, as it had been just four months since the tires were replaced all the way around. Mick had been driving the car to work in Fort Saskatchewan, but has decided to take the Jetta from now on.

"We're just trying to do what we can to meet the targets of the Kyoto Protocol. Mick carpools to work as it is, and taking the cleaner running Jetta will help us meet our personal Kyoto Targets," Heather explained.

"I placed a free ad in the bargain finder, and we had two calls from the same person the first day. I told them when I'd be home from work to clean it, and they were waiting for me. We took it for a sweet cruise, then they handed over the cash and we gave them the bill of sale. It was that easy!" exclaimed Mick, just glad that the nightmare was over.

Photo: This is the only angle that you can take a picture of the old Tempo without seeing rust.. 

April 3rd, 2003

Mick and Heather Attend NAITSA Awards Night
Mick and Heather attended the NAIT Students' Association's Fifth Annual Awards Night this Thursday night, held at St. Andrew's Hall in northwest Edmonton.

The guest speaker at the event was Cam Tait, who is a NAIT graduate that now writes for the Edmonton Journal. Cam was born with Cerebral Palsy, and has lead a remarkable life by being a strong person. He spoke about the importance of volunteering, his anger that in Toronto they only had 600 Block Parents sign up, and the effect that volunteers had on his life (Cam learned to move through patterning, which 25,000 hours of volunteering done by 116 different people in his life).

The food was fantastic, but because of the late start and Mick's early bedtime the couple had to leave early, missing the majority of the awards distribution.

A special thanks to the NAIT Students' Association for the wonderful evening.

Photo: When they got there there wasn't anyone else there. They tried to break into the bar, but it didn't work out. 

March 17th, 2003

Mick and Heather Celebrate St. Patrick's Day in Their Own Unique Way
Because of the Irish in Mick's family background, the dynamic duo decided that they had better celebrate St. Pat's Day with a trip to their local dentist for tooth whitening appointments.

Their dentist, Dr. Garth Von Hagen, who also hails from Weyburn, has been very helpful in helping answer any and all of Mick and Heather's dental concerns. 

"I drink a lot of tea. I've got a special event coming up that I need white teeth for. I am going to have the whitest teeth at the wedding," commented Heather.

Mick has other motives. "Someone dared me to see if they could turn clear. I'm going to do my best to win that pie from Keegans!"

Their appointments involved taking moulds of their teeth. They will have to come back for the whitening inserts and bleach, or whatever it is that they use. Only time will tell if this dangerous procedure will work out for them.

Photo: This lady that Mick and Heather have never seen had her teeth fixed. Next she should do her moustache. 

March 15th, 2003

Mick and Heather Open an Urban Barn Outlet
While Mick and Heather were furniture shopping on 137th Avenue in Edmonton today, they opened the new Urban Barn location.

At 10:45 the couple drove past the new location and noticed some oversized banners taped up inside the windows proclaiming, "Opening Soon." Familiar with the Whyte Avenue location of Urban Barn and tired of looking at crappy furniture, the couple looked at one another and Heather said, "I wish that store was open."

The couple retreated to Michaels to get some wedding supplies, and after the half hour line-up at the cash registers they finally emerged to see that the new Urban Barn was now open. The "Opening Soon" signs were replaced with signs reading "Now Open" and Heather's wish had come true.

"I asked her to wish for the lottery or maybe a dental appliance to stop my storing, but she says that she's only going to use her new superpower for things we really need," Mick answered when prodded about his reaction to Heather's newfound power.

When asked for an explanation, Heather (or Deltawish as she's now going by), only responded with a terse, "No comment."

Photo: After the ribbon-cutting ceremony we all enjoyed cake. The guy with the knife was really happy with Heather's wish. 

March 3rd, 2003

Mick and Heather Break Into Their New Home
After a fit of rage regarding their new possession date, Mick and Heather decided to take action into their own hands and get inside to see their new home. Armed with a digital camera and tile, flooring and cabinet samples they used to pick their colours out, the two had a contractor climb through their basement from another unit to let them in.

If you would like to see a two minute video of their excursion, complete with a handy dandy soundtrack, download this file, this file, and this file and save them to your local hard drive. Unzip the three to reveal a video that runs you through their condo in progress. You can also download a 360 degree tour of their living room here.

The trim hasn't been done. Cabinets are not in. The flooring isn't in. They haven't painted yet, but the walls are primed to roughly what colours Mick and Heather have in there. Roughly. You'll have to see things for yourself at their housewarming the second weekend in May (a week before the wedding).

Photo: Heather doing a dance in the master bedroom. 

February 24th, 2003

Heather Gets Laid Off
Today Heather was voted off the island by a group of her fellow co-workers. She is officially unemployed, and Mick has now become the lone breadwinner. 

She is enjoying her freedom so far, spending her days playing Hoyle's Chinese Checkers, as well as making up a list of jobs she's "applied for" so that Mick will think she wants to go back to work.

"I get laid off all the time," Mick said, "I don't get what the big deal is. There's always another job. I just wish she wasn't so happy about not having a job anymore."

"I wish I could get a fulltime job playing Hoyle's Chinese Checkers."

If you are looking for an Environmental Engineer, or someone to spread sarcasm throughout your workplace, please let Mick and Heather know through the guestbook.

Photo: Hey, at least the cart's not empty. 

February 22nd, 2003

Mick and Heather Drive to Regina for Mick's Dad's 50th Birthday
Mick and Heather  spent the weekend in sunny Regina, celebrating Jim's birthday this weekend. It was supposed to be a surprise visit but Zack, Mick's youngest brother, as well as Mick's Grandma Rhoda dropped a few hints and Jim figured it out.

Zack had mentioned, "Big weekend, eh, Dad? Mick and Heather are coming to town."

Rhoda was more discreet, sending Mick's birthday card (his birthday was on the 20th) to their home in Regina, as well as asking Jim if he thought that Mick and Heather could give her a ride from Edmonton.

People from Edmonton, Prince Albert, Saskatoon, Regina, and of course, Weyburn, were in attendance. The party took place at The Broken Rack, a popular pool hall on the southside in Regina.

Jim and Lori were late for the party, which was fine as the friends and family that had gathered got a chance to visit a bit before the big entrance. The stories were funny, and sometimes questionable, but a good time was had by all.

Photo: A not-so-recent family photo from half of Jim's life ago. 

February 7th, 2003

Heather Misdiagnoses Mick's Illness
Earlier today, despite doing at least 25 minutes of on-line research, Heather misdiagnosed Mick's skin illness on his hands.

"He had all the right symptoms for shingles. I don't know what happened. I guess that you can't rely on the internet for everything."

Initially, Mick had thought that his eczema was acting up, but after his three-year-old prescription failed to clear up the "activity" Heather took him to the emergency ward at the hospital. They were the only people at the emergency ward, but it still took three hours to see a doctor.

"I was really glad to have Dr. Dan take a puss sample. I wish he would've gotten back to me with the results. But really, what's all the puss about?"

Mick was prescribed some mild antibiotic ointment for his "impetigo" on his hands. Impetigo is a skin disorder that affects children in the summertime, so it only makes sense that Mick would get it in the winter. 

As long as Mick stays out of the sandbox, everything should clear up. 

Photo: The only shingles Mick will have are those on their roof. 

February 2nd, 2003

Mick and Heather See Their Shadows and Decide "Six More Weeks of Winter"
To celebrate Ground Hog Day, Heather and Mick went outside their downtown apartment this morning to predict what the next six weeks would bring weather-wise.

"The only time that I did not see my shadow was when I slipped on my front step and fell on my ass," exclaimed Mick. 

"Due to the varying weather conditions in Ontario and Pennsylvania, we thought that maybe we needed to check things for ourselves in northern Alberta. Wiarton Willie did not see his shadow, but Punxsutawney Phil did, indicating Pennsylvania and area have six more weeks of winter ahead of them," explained Heather.

Until suitable alternatives to the eastern ground hogs are found, Mick and Heather plan to step outside each February 2nd to predict the weather.

Photo: The late Punxsutawney Pete in an interview. 

January 29th, 2003

Mick and Heather "Buy" a 52" Flat Plasma Screen TV
Due to a lack of interesting news this week, it is with great joy that we include some stock tips from Mick and Heather.

Last summer, Mick and Heather went through their various change containers around the house, and rounded up just under $300 in change. The change was deposited into a TD Waterhouse Webbroker account then used to finance the purchase of 200 shares of Westaim (WED on the TSX).

Westaim is currently near it's five-year low. Not that long ago, Westaim introduced it's I-Fire Technology and released a 17" flat panel monitor, shooting the stock up from $5 to $25. The planned retail price for the 52" plasma screen TVs is under $4,000, which is one-third to one-half of the current prices out there for lower quality products.

"Our plan is to sell the 200 shares we bought at $1.27 for $25 when they put out the 52" later on this year, and use the funds to buy the TV," explained Mick.

"I think that the Zenith we have now is just fine. I think the quality is excellent. We don't need a big f***ing TV!" Heather shouted.

I-Fire has teamed up with Sanyo to have the TV's commercial ready later on this year. After the release expect to see one in Mick and Heather's living room.  

Photo: The 17" flat panel monitor Westaim released that sent stock prices soaring. 

January 22nd, 2003

Mick and Heather See George Carlin Live
Mick and Heather went to see George Carlin on his latest tour last night at the Jubilee Auditorium in Edmonton.

"I thought he was very relevant," Heather commented, "But he and his opening act shared a lot of the same material."

"I was offended. I felt horrible for having to sit in an audience where people laughed at horrible things that were totally politically incorrect. He has really dumbed-down his material. Maybe he's just getting old," Mick said.

George's 90 minute show included material including suicide (the all-suicide channel), cell phones (crazy people talking to themselves versus people with hands free cell phones walking around), not stopping at the scene of an accident you caused (haven't those people suffered enough? stop living in the past and keep driving...), answering machines (messages don't need to explain that you're away from the phone- it's obvious), people he thought should be killed (white people who shaved their heads, for example), and the first enema (who thought of it and why?). 

"I can't believe some people brought their children," Mick exclaimed, "people are all messed up." Perhaps Mick got George's message indirectly while attending the show.

Photo: George offending Mick while entertaining Heather. 

January 15th, 2003

Mick Books a Bakery for the Wedding Cake
Mick made a few phone calls today, in hopes of finding the right bakery in Regina to whip up a wedding cake. After making three calls, he selected Cathedral Bakery as the official cake maker for the wedding.

"The woman was so nice on the phone. She could tell that I was a wedding cake expert, and I knew that she sort of knew what we had in mind, so we got along fine. I thought the cake was going to be a lot more money, but she's giving us a deal for $2,000," Mick joked.

Kidding aside, the cake will be wonderful and will serve as a symbol or do whatever it's supposed to do. 

"I can't really tell you all the details of our wedding, as we don't want to spoil any surprises. It will be suitable and according to Heather's spec."

Besides booking the cake, Mick has also been actively involved in florist selection, music selection, suit choices, and a lot of the planning. This makes Heather happy. "We are getting closer to my, er, our big day, and it's important that Mick is involved.

Photo: The cake will look nothing like this.  

January 1st, 2003

Mick and Heather Make New Year's Resolutions
Mick and Heather have decided to try and stick to this year's resolutions: Mick wants to spend more time on his art, and Heather wants to take up drinking as a new hobby.

"I just don't spend enough time painting or sculpting or writing or player computer games or playing my accordion. I need a vent," Mick explained. "She just needs a vice."

"I really miss being able to drink like I could in high school," Heather added, "I mean, really, it was illegal back then but I could almost drink a case of beer. Now I'm lucky if I can walk after a couple of pints."

Mick reminded her of the time she had a party in high school and when she passed out they put beer on her glasses, in hopes of her waking up, smelling the beer, and puking. "If that's what you really want to do, the drinking, I mean, I'll support you all the way."

Heather now has begun collecting various wines and spirits, in hopes of developing her drinking hobby. She doesn't have to worry about Mick getting into it, because he can't hold his liquor anyway.

"I'm going to do my best to drink more. I am dedicated and focused."

Photo: Help Heather fill her globe with bottles.